I still remember during primary school i had a girl bestfriend and when the two of us were together the world was like literally ours. I feel like there was always not enough time for us to chat while we were in school so calling each other on the landline every night was a mandatory. Of course i could not remember what were we discussing about but one of them was to ask about homeworks. How geek i know. For a while i thought to myself having a bestfriend was amazing! Until one day there was a new girl entered our class and she was kinda chatty. She was sweet and all and i liked her. We kinda get closed and then there were 3 of us. My first bestfriend, the chatty girl and me. Again, the world felt just like ours. However as time passed by, i felt like i was left out. Maybe because i was too comfortable being myself with them, there was just some things in me that they did not like or whatnot. Well i guess we can never expect everyone to love every single bit of us. I have flaws. Yada yada yada boom they made plans together without me, they went for recess without me, they had a sleepover at each other's plave without me. And that, my friend, was the first massive heartbreak ive ever felt.
What i was tryna tell here in my life, ive felt that feeling for quite a no of time. During secondary, during college, during uni. Always at the losing side. Every single time. Til i came to a point i told myself yeahhh friendship is important, they make us feel happier, spirit lifter and bla bla but i have decided not to be so attached to anyone anymore because the heartbreak of separating and knowing there is always someone to replace you is so awful.
All that had made me ponder what did i do wrong, what were the traits that other people find not pleasing them as they easily replaced me first of all, you know that kinda thing. Then the Oprah side of me just kept on screaming there's nothing wrong with me its just that its normal for a human being to change. We just like to try new things. Then i was ok. At least i thought i was. Until i entered senior class of uni when i started to have a guy being my bestfriend. Until career life i think i had a few guy bestfriend and i can see there was less drama than a girl-girl friendship yaknow. I get close to them, like very close, i cant hardly count the amount of girl friends that i had. However the world do not always go with you, people start talking, to some extend started assuming that i was turning to one wild girl always following guys hanging out and all. Again, i quit liking this magical thing called friendship.
Living my life now happily married and the only bestest friend ive got is my husband. No drama no issues no heartbreak. But then again, its quite pleasing to see those with BFF since small still stick together, how lucky. Well i guess its just not for me. This friendship thingy can be very precious and thank you to all who had been in my life, be my bestfriend, you coloured my life once but im just tired of trying. Maybe better luck in future, no? #notagainstfriendship #friendshipislife
Hehe til then, ill write whatever comes to mind!
❤️
